On having twins

When I go to the grocery store, the park, the pediatrician's, or ANYWHERE with both girls in tow, I'm stopped an average of 5 times with this basic conversation:

--Are they twins?
Me: Yes. (thinking in my head: of course they're twins. are you an idiot?)
--A boy and a girl? [Note: I do not dress the girls in ribbons and bows from toes to head, not that it would matter with this question.]
Me: No, two girls.
--Oh. You don't dress them alike?
Me: No, they're 2 separate people. [Note: Those who do dress their kids alike are all right by me!]
--Are they identical?
Me: We don't know. We might find out one day.

Sometimes, it ends right there. And sometimes, it gets personal.

--Were you surprised? OR Do twins run in your family? [Translation: Did you use fertility treatments?]
Me: Oh, yes! OR My grandmother was a twin, but there hadn't been any for 91 years.

Then usually, I fake having to be in a hurry. Or rather, in a greater hurry than I already was.

And poor Brady if he's there too. He's essentially ignored.

--How old are they?
Me: 17 months.
Brady: YOU DIDN'T TELL THEM HOW OLD I AM!!
Me: And 4 and a half years.

Although I've gotten smarter and now say "4 and a half years and 17 months." Brady's usually satisfied with this.

Having twins is an absolute riot. And by that I mean it's sometimes hysterically funny, and sometimes, it's like an actual RIOT, with only the cool police shields and rubber bullets missing. When both girls go for the same toy, the screeching alone is enough to drive you over the edge. But when they're hugging each other and giggling, or playing peek-a-boo with each other, you can't help but smile and laugh along.

The first year was HARD -- just trying to keep 2 premature babies alive while also caring for your oldest child, keeping a household going, working, and occasionally talking to your husband is not for the faint of heart or stomach. But this second year is CRAAAAAAZY. Two toddlers without judgement or impulse control going in 2 different directions is insane enough. But these girls have OPINIONS -- which sippy cup each prefers, whether snack is delicious enough, even which sun hat should be worn outside -- and they are a force to be reckoned with. If I have to again say "Sit on your tushie" while they stand on a chair, "Get off the table" as they climb on top of the DINING ROOM TABLE, or "Eat your own snack" as they lunge for Brady's popsicle for the 100th time, I think I might lose my mind. Whenever we're out and parents of older multiples see us, they make a point to come over and say, "Don't worry! It DOES get easier!" (And I always think, "Man, we must look like shit if they came over here to tell us that.")

As it turns out, when 2 toddlers are testing their limits, they totally feed off each other. While this works out when they're learning to dance, it's not so fun when they're dashing up the stairs again and again, climbing the changing pad to get to the wipes, pulling Brady's and my hair, and straddling the arm of the couch. So whereas we could leave the room when Brady was this age, these girls need constant supervision. And it's exhausting and frustrating. The only thing I can say is that we learned a lot from Brady's toddlerhood, and we'll do things a lot differently with the girls. "Limits" is a word we understand now, both their need to test, and our need to set, and as they grow older, to follow through on with clear consequences.

But as they get older, they are getting more amazing. To watch them not only grow but thrive after all the complications of the pregnancy, and to see them realize that they have a special relationship -- it takes your breath away. And watching them with Brady -- oh, my, it just brings tears to my eyes. Just this morning Bayla almost fell out of a chair, and I couldn't get there in time. But Brady caught her! And then he was so proud to be such a protective big brother. He adores them, and I'm fairly certain they love him more than me.

Deciding to go for a second child is a big deal when your life has become more easy, and then to find out that child will be children...well...it's a lot to handle when you're somewhat ambivalent about it because you love your first child SO much you think it's enough. But then you welcome these kids into the world, and you see the sibling relationship start to develop....it's unbelievable. Everyone said that siblings are "a gift" for an older child, and they were so right. Brady has grown by leaps and bounds. He has his moments of course, but mostly, he's a considerate, mature, sweet little boy who values and loves his sisters. Seeing them all play together is a sight to behold.

And so I've concluded that all in all, even when I'm catching hulking baby girls as they fall off the couch for the 10th time in a row at the same time, we'll keep 'em. I love this family of mine. Before they were born, I didn't realize what I was missing. Now I double understand.