I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post! A month has gone by, and the girls are now seven months old. I'm not sure how that's possible. The only explanation is that a wormhole opened up and transported us into the future. (Or, possibly, I'm sleep deprived and watching too much sci-fi.) Whatever the reason, time is absolutely hurtling by us, and we're still desperately trying to grab hold of it and catch up. We've given up trying to get ahead-- now we're just hanging on for dear life. Why does this happen, especially since I work part time from home? The answer: I have 3 kids under 3. Now, this statement of fact in and of itself doesn't seem that significant. My situation is far from unique. One of the kids is in preschool. Two of the kids have a nanny for the hours I'm working. So why isn't anything getting done? I mean, I'm not sitting on the couch eating bon-bons and watching HGTV all day. (would that it were!) I've given this a lot of thought, and I've come to realize that I'm simply spread too thin. Nothing gets my all these days. Poor Brady used to get 110%. (and I read about a British study that said that only children are happier. As if I didn't feel guilty enough.)And Belle-- Belle used to sleep in the bed, get taken for long walks, and hop up on the couch for some snuggle time.
But the one who really gets the short end of an already short stick is my unsung hero, my husband. Not all that long ago, we had lots of time for each other. Movies, concerts, shopping, time with friends, sleeping in on the weekends-- the list that made up our leisurely life went on and on. Then came Brady, and most of my attention and effort went toward him. Then the girls came, and good Lord! Who knew I even had the energy to live on reserve fumes as I cared for them and tried not to traumatize and create resentment in my sweet son. But caring and selfless, Shawn's jumped right in to parenthood and the unique challenges of having multiples. He changed Brady's first diapers after his C-section delivery, when I was in pain and in bed. He visited the girls 4 times in the NICU the night they were born. He gives love and smiles and distraction, and it's clear that the girls absolutely adore their daddy. He's been relegated to the back of the line, and he deals with it. And for that, I love him more, and I hope to be able to pay him back when the kids are older and I'm better rested, with more energy.
Whenever we're out with the whole family (A.K.A. the rolling freak show), people stop us, ask questions, coo at the babies (and occasionally notice Brady), and almost invariably say to me, "You've got your hands full. I don't know how you do it." But the absolute, undeniable truth is that I couldn't do it without Shawn, and he gets almost no credit. I mean, sure, his body and brain weren't destroyed to bring the kids into the world, but it's just not fair that old gender roles play into a complete lack of recognition for his involvement. He is the most amazing father and husband I have ever seen, and I want everyone to know it. And so there you go.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Six months! (Feels like 12)
Happy half birthday to Bayla and Harper! This time six months ago, I was laid up with some good drugs and a coke, and I'd only seen the girls briefly before they were whisked away to the NICU.
What a difference time makes. My perfect little baby girls are probably about 16 lbs each (we'll find out Monday), are kinda eating solids (babyfood squash-- yummo!), and are smiley, happy, and laid-back. Unfortunately, they're still not sleeping through the night, something Daddy and Mommy are a little desperate for.
Brady is (mostly) a model big brother, deeply concerned about the location and well-being of his sisters. He asks for "my babies" the moment he comes home. With his crazy antics, and his increasingly interactive sisters, life is getting pretty fun around the ol' Slemons house. Exhausting, but fun.
As I mentioned in my last post, I couldn't stop to think about what might have happened with the girls while we were in the thick of things, but six months out, after giving my heart, my arms, my beauty sleep, and, let's face it, my body and boobs to these babies, I can't imagine life without them. When I'm feeding them at 3 a.m., I'm often awestruck by the enormity of it all. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to be their and Brady's mother, to have a strong hand in shaping who they'll turn out to be.
It's not all sweet of course (for instance, I estimated that we've prepared and fed these girls about 3,000 bottles at this point, and changed about 2,700 diapers), but I'll take it.
What a difference time makes. My perfect little baby girls are probably about 16 lbs each (we'll find out Monday), are kinda eating solids (babyfood squash-- yummo!), and are smiley, happy, and laid-back. Unfortunately, they're still not sleeping through the night, something Daddy and Mommy are a little desperate for.
Brady is (mostly) a model big brother, deeply concerned about the location and well-being of his sisters. He asks for "my babies" the moment he comes home. With his crazy antics, and his increasingly interactive sisters, life is getting pretty fun around the ol' Slemons house. Exhausting, but fun.
As I mentioned in my last post, I couldn't stop to think about what might have happened with the girls while we were in the thick of things, but six months out, after giving my heart, my arms, my beauty sleep, and, let's face it, my body and boobs to these babies, I can't imagine life without them. When I'm feeding them at 3 a.m., I'm often awestruck by the enormity of it all. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to be their and Brady's mother, to have a strong hand in shaping who they'll turn out to be.
It's not all sweet of course (for instance, I estimated that we've prepared and fed these girls about 3,000 bottles at this point, and changed about 2,700 diapers), but I'll take it.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Book of Life
Rosh Hashana, the Jewish new year, and Yom Kippur, the day of atonement, recently wrapped up. These are the holiest days of the year for us Hebrews. I'm always extra emotional around this time of year, mostly because I miss my mother, and I miss having a community of other Jews to have holiday meals with. We belong to a wonderful temple, but we haven't really made ourselves a part of any Jewish community. In Savannah, we'd have lunch and dinner with old friends, and it was always a wonderful time. This year, we did get to have Rosh Hashana dinner with our friends the Crows, who have an older boy and twin girls. It was the most fun chaos you can imagine. It felt like home.
I don't talk much about the observant part of my being Jewish, mostly because I firmly believe that everyone's religious life, or lack thereof, is a deeply personal experience. I expect everyone to respect each other's lifestyles and beliefs (or lack thereof). But I'm going to talk about it here because, hey, it's my blog.
Our special Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur prayers include this:
On Rosh Hashana it is written,
on Yom Kippur it is sealed:
How many shall pass on, and how many shall come to be;
who shall live and who shall die;
who shall see ripe old age and who shall not;...
It's the "how many shall come to be" part that struck me this year. Last year on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, we knew I was pregnant but didn't yet know we were having twins. We certainly couldn't have predicted the 3 months in the hospital, or the perfect little chunky monkeys we have now. Things turned out so well, and they could have gone so wrong at any time. And that realization turned into me sobbing as we read this on Rosh Hashana morning. You may have seen my post about being inscribed in the Book of Life. Jews traditionally believe that on Rosh Hashana, your prayers and deeds determine whether you get written into the Book of Life or the Book of Death. And on Yom Kippur, your prayers, repentance, and charity seal the deal. I don't necessarily believe that God takes out a pen and writes my name in one book or the other, but I appreciate the imagery and metaphor. And I appreciate the chance to hold and love Brady, Bayla and Harper. I don't know what I did to "deserve" these wonderful children and this great life, but I am thankful for it all.
When Shawn and I first started dating, we had a big talk about my being Jewish and wanting a Jewish home. He was totally on board and now even participates in our (admittedly sparse) Jewish life. But I would like our children to know that they're Jewish, to know the history of their people, and to care about being a Member of the Tribe. I get excited when I think about Hebrew school and bar and bat mitzvahs, matzo ball soup and charoses (not so much about matzo), about Sh'mah and Hamotzi and other prayers, about "I Have a Little Dreidel" and "Mah Nishtanah," about Jewish mother jokes and tradition.
And at this time of year, when I actually make it to temple, and this year, when I have so much to be thankful for, I'm kind of hit over the head with how inspiring being a Jew is. we pray for ourselves, and we thank God, but we also pray for others-- in a nutshell, we want everyone to be nice to everyone else. And so because I feel every religious experience is a personal choice, if that's the only lesson my children get from Judaism, I'm okay with that. If they turn out to be good people who care about social justice (which is such a Jewish concept-- I'd explain more but this blog post is long enough already), and just occasionally make mazto ball soup, I'll be the proudest Jewish mother ever.
I don't talk much about the observant part of my being Jewish, mostly because I firmly believe that everyone's religious life, or lack thereof, is a deeply personal experience. I expect everyone to respect each other's lifestyles and beliefs (or lack thereof). But I'm going to talk about it here because, hey, it's my blog.
Our special Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur prayers include this:
On Rosh Hashana it is written,
on Yom Kippur it is sealed:
How many shall pass on, and how many shall come to be;
who shall live and who shall die;
who shall see ripe old age and who shall not;...
It's the "how many shall come to be" part that struck me this year. Last year on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur, we knew I was pregnant but didn't yet know we were having twins. We certainly couldn't have predicted the 3 months in the hospital, or the perfect little chunky monkeys we have now. Things turned out so well, and they could have gone so wrong at any time. And that realization turned into me sobbing as we read this on Rosh Hashana morning. You may have seen my post about being inscribed in the Book of Life. Jews traditionally believe that on Rosh Hashana, your prayers and deeds determine whether you get written into the Book of Life or the Book of Death. And on Yom Kippur, your prayers, repentance, and charity seal the deal. I don't necessarily believe that God takes out a pen and writes my name in one book or the other, but I appreciate the imagery and metaphor. And I appreciate the chance to hold and love Brady, Bayla and Harper. I don't know what I did to "deserve" these wonderful children and this great life, but I am thankful for it all.
When Shawn and I first started dating, we had a big talk about my being Jewish and wanting a Jewish home. He was totally on board and now even participates in our (admittedly sparse) Jewish life. But I would like our children to know that they're Jewish, to know the history of their people, and to care about being a Member of the Tribe. I get excited when I think about Hebrew school and bar and bat mitzvahs, matzo ball soup and charoses (not so much about matzo), about Sh'mah and Hamotzi and other prayers, about "I Have a Little Dreidel" and "Mah Nishtanah," about Jewish mother jokes and tradition.
And at this time of year, when I actually make it to temple, and this year, when I have so much to be thankful for, I'm kind of hit over the head with how inspiring being a Jew is. we pray for ourselves, and we thank God, but we also pray for others-- in a nutshell, we want everyone to be nice to everyone else. And so because I feel every religious experience is a personal choice, if that's the only lesson my children get from Judaism, I'm okay with that. If they turn out to be good people who care about social justice (which is such a Jewish concept-- I'd explain more but this blog post is long enough already), and just occasionally make mazto ball soup, I'll be the proudest Jewish mother ever.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Bayla Sarah and Davida Chaya
We had a wonderful baby naming for the girls today at our temple, Kehillat Chaim. For those who don't know, Jewish baby boys get circumcised in an ancient ritual known as Brit Milah, or covenant. This covenant is with God, and the ceremony welcomes them into Judaism. Jewish baby girls have naming ceremonies to welcome them into the kehillah (community), and we were so proud to honor and celebrate them today. Jews traditionally name their children after relatives who have passed away. Bayla was my mother's Hebrew name, and Sarah was my father's mother's Hebrew name, so she is named for them. Harper's English name is after Shawn's grandfather Harvey, and her Hebrew name, Davida Chaya, is for my mother's father David. "Chaya" means life, and as the rabbi pointed out, that's extremely fitting for these girls after all that happened.
The ceremony itself was so sweet. Our rabbi wrote it, and it talks about the kind of women we hope they'll grow up to be, the kind of home we hope to have, the kind of parents we want to be, and the world we want them to grow up in. My brother was sick, but my sister-in-law Alison acted as godparent, and my father, Bonnie, Shawn's mother Gail, and Shawn's father and stepmother Ken & Carole took part in the service as well. Brady twirled around the sanctuary and didn't pay much attention-- it pretty much a window into our lives! The service spoke to our hearts, and I want to share it with you. Our Rabbi, Harvey Winokur, and Cantor, Barbara Margulis, did an amazing job:
NAMING CEREMONY
Rabbi/Cantor: “And you shall call them by their names”...a command given first to Adam and Eve. To call someone or something by name is to touch its heart, its essence. It is to speak a word which lasts a lifetime.
In the beginning, God began to create through names. When God said, “Yehi Or,” “Let there be light” -- only then did light exist. Each name allowed day and night, earth and sky, sunlight and moonlight not only to be what they ought to be, but each name also created a separation. With a name, we become ourselves and no one else.
Even God has a name. In fact, God has many names. And each of God’s names reflects something special about the Eternal. When we say “Elohaynu,” we address that God who rules; when we say “Adonai,” we address a God filled with mercy. K’shmo keyn hu...as is God’s name, so is God’s essence.
Godparents or other relatives: [Ali, Steven in absentia]
Joyfully do we present ______________ and _________________ to their parents to enter into the Covenant of Life.
______________: Blessed is the Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, by whose Mitzvot we are hallowed, who commands us to sanctify life.
Rabbi/Cantor: God and Creator, happy parents have come into Your presence to voice the longings of their hearts in prayer. Give them the wisdom to teach their children to be faithful to the heritage of the Household of Israel, that they may grow up with the knowledge that You are always near to them, guiding and sustaining them. Keep open the eyes of their spirit, that they may ever be conscious of the beauty and wonder of Your world. And let them learn to love the goodness that is in man and woman, that they may ever nourish the goodness that has been implanted within them. Though none can escape sorrow and pain, we humbly ask for them the courage to face evil, the faith to transcend it, and the strength to subdue it. Grant them health of mind and strength of body, that they may enjoy fullness of years and live to do Your will in faithfulness. Amen.
Parents: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray for the health of these children.
I pray for them to be perfect in mind and body,
To grow steadily and sturdily
In a home filled with joy at their presence,
To be nurtured into a people who greet the world
With passion, enthusiasm, dance, love , humility, and faith.
Father: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray for the health of this world.
I beg its leaders to temper their insanity with reason,
So that my children may live in a world that seeks longevity,
not annihilation.
Let the world join in the thrill of creation,
And turn its back on the lust for destruction.
Let my children never know the pain and absurdity of warfare
Let them take part in the dances of peace.
Mother: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray that God watch over me and my family,
I pray for the ability to love and nurture these children,
I pray to feel God’s presence now and always.
Rabbi/Cantor: Praised are You, eternal source of light, Who makes it possible for spark to flow into spark, flame into flame, love into love, life into life.
Baruch atah Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam, she-heh-che-yanu, v’kiy’yimah-nu, v’hig-giyahnu la-z’man ha-zeh.
Praised are You, O Eternal our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who has kept us alive, and sustained us, and permitted us to join together in this celebration of life.
Shawn & Becky____: Source of all life, our hearts are filled with joy for the new lives which have been entrusted to us. Not with words alone shall we voice our thanks, but with our striving to rear our children with love and understanding and tender care. “Bestow Your blessing on our child, that they may grow in strength of body, mind and spirit. May they learn to love all that is good and beautiful and true, to be a blessing to society and a joy to themselves.” Give us, O God, the wisdom, courage, and faith that we as parents shall need to raise our children to be human and humane beings, strong, happy and loving persons.
____Bruce____: We are thankful for the many joys with which our life has been blessed. Now this great goodness has come to us: a new life, new grandchildren to love, the opening of a new chapter in the chronicle of our family’s existence. O may these children grow up in health and happiness, to become a blessing to family, friends and neighbors. May their dear parents find much joy in the years that lie before them. Grant, O God, that they rear their children with wisdom and understanding, teaching them the ways of righteousness, leading them to the study of Torah and the practice of love and kindness.
_Rabbi__________: And may we, too, be granted the joy of seeing them develop all their faculties, and the gratification of seeing them fulfill the best that is in them. Then our humble prayer shall have found its answer: the days and years to come shall be for us times of peace and wondrous fulfillment. Amen.
____Bonnie______: Today, we celebrate as ____________ and __________enter into the covenant. This ritual is entered into with You, O God, to praise Your holy name. May it please You to bless this home with health, happiness and contentment. May all the members of our family be privileged to serve You in joy.
____Rabbi______: May ____________ and _____________grow in vigor of mind to become learned in Torah, true children of the Mitzvot, an intelligent, informed and loving human beings. Bless ____________ and ____________ that they may continue to find favor in the eyes of God and humankind
Rabbi/Cantor: Birth is a beginning,
And death a destination.
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing:
From foolishness to discretion
And then, perhaps, to wisdom;
From weakness to strength
Or strength to weakness--
And often, back again;
From health to sickness
And back, we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude,
From pain to compassion,
And grief to understanding--
From fear to faith;
From defeat to defeat to defeat--
Until, looking backward or ahead,
We see that victory lies
Not as some high place along the way,
But in having made the journey, stage by stage,
A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
___Rabbi___: May you raise your daughters to bring honor to the names of our Matriarchs. Bestow upon them the qualities of nobility and strength. Instill in them the love of learning; grant them the joy of marriage; teach them to have compassion upon all life that they be blessed with the three-fold blessing of Torah, Chupah and Maasim tovim.
___Gail____: May you raise up these children O Lord, to be strong enough to know when they are weak and brave enough to face themselves when they are afraid; ones who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, but humble and gentle in victory. Send them we pray, not only in the path of ease and comfort but also in the spur of difficulty and challenge. Here let them learn to stand up in the storm; here let them learn compassion for those who fall. Grant them the insight to know themselves and the wisdom to know You.
_______Ken & Carole_____: May you raise these children whose hearts will be clear, whose goals will be high; children who will master themselves before they seek to master others; ones who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; ones who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. After all these things are theirs, this we pray, enough sense of humor that they may always be serious but never take themselves too seriously. Give them humility so that they may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Parents: O God, for the gift of these children we give thanks, praying that we will be worthy of the blessing and responsibility of parenthood.
Rabbi/Cantor
Hebrew is inserted-
Blessed is the Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.
Rabbi/Cantor: May the One who blessed our patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and our matriarchs, Sarah, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel bless these children with life and health. May they be a joy to their parents. May they live to bring honor to the House of Israel, blessing to humanity, and glory to the name of God.
Now, in the presence of loved ones, we give to these children the names ____________ (Hebrew Names). Let them become names honored and respected for wisdom and good deeds. May God’s blessing rest upon these children now and always.
We pray that these children will grow in heart and mind. May the story of our people inspire them. May the truths of Torah guide them. And may the grandeur of the prophetic word of truth and righteousness enter their spirit and be for them a lasting benediction. Amen.
Parents: O God, we give thanks to You for the gift of our children, who have entered into the covenant of life. Keep them from all harm, and grant that they may be a source of joy to us and all their dear ones. Be with us, and give us health and length of days. Teach us to rear our children with care and affection, with wisdom and understanding that they may be a faithful children of our people, and a blessing to the world. We give thanks to You, O Lord, the Source of life.
Rabbi/Cantor:
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord look kindly upon you and be gracious unto you;
The Lord bestow favor upon you and give you peace. Amen.
The ceremony itself was so sweet. Our rabbi wrote it, and it talks about the kind of women we hope they'll grow up to be, the kind of home we hope to have, the kind of parents we want to be, and the world we want them to grow up in. My brother was sick, but my sister-in-law Alison acted as godparent, and my father, Bonnie, Shawn's mother Gail, and Shawn's father and stepmother Ken & Carole took part in the service as well. Brady twirled around the sanctuary and didn't pay much attention-- it pretty much a window into our lives! The service spoke to our hearts, and I want to share it with you. Our Rabbi, Harvey Winokur, and Cantor, Barbara Margulis, did an amazing job:
NAMING CEREMONY
Rabbi/Cantor: “And you shall call them by their names”...a command given first to Adam and Eve. To call someone or something by name is to touch its heart, its essence. It is to speak a word which lasts a lifetime.
In the beginning, God began to create through names. When God said, “Yehi Or,” “Let there be light” -- only then did light exist. Each name allowed day and night, earth and sky, sunlight and moonlight not only to be what they ought to be, but each name also created a separation. With a name, we become ourselves and no one else.
Even God has a name. In fact, God has many names. And each of God’s names reflects something special about the Eternal. When we say “Elohaynu,” we address that God who rules; when we say “Adonai,” we address a God filled with mercy. K’shmo keyn hu...as is God’s name, so is God’s essence.
Godparents or other relatives: [Ali, Steven in absentia]
Joyfully do we present ______________ and _________________ to their parents to enter into the Covenant of Life.
______________: Blessed is the Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, by whose Mitzvot we are hallowed, who commands us to sanctify life.
Rabbi/Cantor: God and Creator, happy parents have come into Your presence to voice the longings of their hearts in prayer. Give them the wisdom to teach their children to be faithful to the heritage of the Household of Israel, that they may grow up with the knowledge that You are always near to them, guiding and sustaining them. Keep open the eyes of their spirit, that they may ever be conscious of the beauty and wonder of Your world. And let them learn to love the goodness that is in man and woman, that they may ever nourish the goodness that has been implanted within them. Though none can escape sorrow and pain, we humbly ask for them the courage to face evil, the faith to transcend it, and the strength to subdue it. Grant them health of mind and strength of body, that they may enjoy fullness of years and live to do Your will in faithfulness. Amen.
Parents: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray for the health of these children.
I pray for them to be perfect in mind and body,
To grow steadily and sturdily
In a home filled with joy at their presence,
To be nurtured into a people who greet the world
With passion, enthusiasm, dance, love , humility, and faith.
Father: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray for the health of this world.
I beg its leaders to temper their insanity with reason,
So that my children may live in a world that seeks longevity,
not annihilation.
Let the world join in the thrill of creation,
And turn its back on the lust for destruction.
Let my children never know the pain and absurdity of warfare
Let them take part in the dances of peace.
Mother: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray that God watch over me and my family,
I pray for the ability to love and nurture these children,
I pray to feel God’s presence now and always.
Rabbi/Cantor: Praised are You, eternal source of light, Who makes it possible for spark to flow into spark, flame into flame, love into love, life into life.
Baruch atah Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam, she-heh-che-yanu, v’kiy’yimah-nu, v’hig-giyahnu la-z’man ha-zeh.
Praised are You, O Eternal our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who has kept us alive, and sustained us, and permitted us to join together in this celebration of life.
Shawn & Becky____: Source of all life, our hearts are filled with joy for the new lives which have been entrusted to us. Not with words alone shall we voice our thanks, but with our striving to rear our children with love and understanding and tender care. “Bestow Your blessing on our child, that they may grow in strength of body, mind and spirit. May they learn to love all that is good and beautiful and true, to be a blessing to society and a joy to themselves.” Give us, O God, the wisdom, courage, and faith that we as parents shall need to raise our children to be human and humane beings, strong, happy and loving persons.
____Bruce____: We are thankful for the many joys with which our life has been blessed. Now this great goodness has come to us: a new life, new grandchildren to love, the opening of a new chapter in the chronicle of our family’s existence. O may these children grow up in health and happiness, to become a blessing to family, friends and neighbors. May their dear parents find much joy in the years that lie before them. Grant, O God, that they rear their children with wisdom and understanding, teaching them the ways of righteousness, leading them to the study of Torah and the practice of love and kindness.
_Rabbi__________: And may we, too, be granted the joy of seeing them develop all their faculties, and the gratification of seeing them fulfill the best that is in them. Then our humble prayer shall have found its answer: the days and years to come shall be for us times of peace and wondrous fulfillment. Amen.
____Bonnie______: Today, we celebrate as ____________ and __________enter into the covenant. This ritual is entered into with You, O God, to praise Your holy name. May it please You to bless this home with health, happiness and contentment. May all the members of our family be privileged to serve You in joy.
____Rabbi______: May ____________ and _____________grow in vigor of mind to become learned in Torah, true children of the Mitzvot, an intelligent, informed and loving human beings. Bless ____________ and ____________ that they may continue to find favor in the eyes of God and humankind
Rabbi/Cantor: Birth is a beginning,
And death a destination.
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing:
From foolishness to discretion
And then, perhaps, to wisdom;
From weakness to strength
Or strength to weakness--
And often, back again;
From health to sickness
And back, we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude,
From pain to compassion,
And grief to understanding--
From fear to faith;
From defeat to defeat to defeat--
Until, looking backward or ahead,
We see that victory lies
Not as some high place along the way,
But in having made the journey, stage by stage,
A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning
___Rabbi___: May you raise your daughters to bring honor to the names of our Matriarchs. Bestow upon them the qualities of nobility and strength. Instill in them the love of learning; grant them the joy of marriage; teach them to have compassion upon all life that they be blessed with the three-fold blessing of Torah, Chupah and Maasim tovim.
___Gail____: May you raise up these children O Lord, to be strong enough to know when they are weak and brave enough to face themselves when they are afraid; ones who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, but humble and gentle in victory. Send them we pray, not only in the path of ease and comfort but also in the spur of difficulty and challenge. Here let them learn to stand up in the storm; here let them learn compassion for those who fall. Grant them the insight to know themselves and the wisdom to know You.
_______Ken & Carole_____: May you raise these children whose hearts will be clear, whose goals will be high; children who will master themselves before they seek to master others; ones who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; ones who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. After all these things are theirs, this we pray, enough sense of humor that they may always be serious but never take themselves too seriously. Give them humility so that they may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.
Parents: O God, for the gift of these children we give thanks, praying that we will be worthy of the blessing and responsibility of parenthood.
Rabbi/Cantor
Hebrew is inserted-
Blessed is the Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.
Rabbi/Cantor: May the One who blessed our patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and our matriarchs, Sarah, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel bless these children with life and health. May they be a joy to their parents. May they live to bring honor to the House of Israel, blessing to humanity, and glory to the name of God.
Now, in the presence of loved ones, we give to these children the names ____________ (Hebrew Names). Let them become names honored and respected for wisdom and good deeds. May God’s blessing rest upon these children now and always.
We pray that these children will grow in heart and mind. May the story of our people inspire them. May the truths of Torah guide them. And may the grandeur of the prophetic word of truth and righteousness enter their spirit and be for them a lasting benediction. Amen.
Parents: O God, we give thanks to You for the gift of our children, who have entered into the covenant of life. Keep them from all harm, and grant that they may be a source of joy to us and all their dear ones. Be with us, and give us health and length of days. Teach us to rear our children with care and affection, with wisdom and understanding that they may be a faithful children of our people, and a blessing to the world. We give thanks to You, O Lord, the Source of life.
Rabbi/Cantor:
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord look kindly upon you and be gracious unto you;
The Lord bestow favor upon you and give you peace. Amen.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Whew! 4 months already??
Time is absolutely flying. Bayla and Harper celebrated their 4-month birthday yesterday with about 28 oz. of formula each, Brady got some Dora popsicles, and Shawn and I toasted with lots of caffeine. :)
These four months have been some of the happiest, most hectic, most frustrating, and most enjoyable of my life. We even got in a vacation to Savannah and woke up to the ocean every day. We saw lots of friends and family and just had a great time.
We went to the doctor today for their 4-month checkup, and they are doing just so, so well. My baby girls Bayla and Harper, who were born at 4 lbs, 13 oz, 16 inches and 4 lbs, 12 oz, 17 3/4 inches, are now 13 lbs, 13 oz, 23 inches and 13 lbs, 5 oz, 24 inches, respectively. They barely made the percentile chart at 2 months, and now they're comfortably in the middle. They're sleeping pretty well-- they wake up once a night, sometimes at 2:30, sometimes at 4:45 or anytime in between. Truthfully, Harper could probably sleep through the night, but I'm too chicken to try it. I would hate to wake up at 3 with Bayla and then 4:30 with Harper, so they get staggered feedings just like any other time of day. They're still sleeping in our room, but I don't know how much longer they'll be able to sleep in the Pack N Play because they're getting so big. (Shawn is ready to move them to their room-- I think he'd like his wife back. But I'm not ready for them to be down the hall yet!) They are smiling and extremely vocal, and they have terrific head and trunk control.
I am so darn proud of them and am feeling so fortunate I'm about to burst. I've said it before but I'll say it again-- these 2 girls together are easier than Brady was alone. I'm sure it won't last, so I'm enjoying it while I can. After all, these are MY girls, so we're in for some bullheaded d-r-a-m-a. (Sorry, Shawn. But this is why you love me, right? ;))
Brady started his new school today. His transitions are always harder for me than for him, but we both did pretty well today. Thankfully his girlfriend Elle is at his new school too, so they each have a familiar face for comfort. He's doing very well. He has his good days and bad days of course. He's about 80% potty trained, which is nice. He won't consistently poop in the potty, but we're working on it. This potty training is about the hardest thing I've ever had to do, INCLUDING being on hospital bed rest for 12 weeks. I'm completely serious. It's enough to drive a sane person crazy. I mean, for example, Brady had a day with no accidents of any kind-- even in a new environment -- then he thought it'd be fun to pee on the carpet right after his bath. He did it just for sh**s and giggles, I suppose, but it took a superhuman level of restraint for me not to bang my head against a wall. Can I just rub his nose in it?????
Work is busy, busy, busy, but I am enjoying having a little Becky time, and it's not the worst thing in the world to get a break from bottles and diapers every day. The hardest part is just trying to keep it all together-- the kids, the husband, the household, work-- but this is nothing new. Ask any mom of 1, 2, 5, or 10 and they'll tell you the same thing! Working outside the home, working from home, stay-at-home-- it's all a guilt- and anxiety-ridden guessing game. But then your 3-year-old tells you a story at the dinner table ("Once upon a time there was a baby. Him rode a fire truck, and an ambulance, and a dump truck. The end.") and sings "Rock-a-Bye Baby" to his crying sister while the other one brilliantly smiles at you, and all is right with the world.
More updates soon!
These four months have been some of the happiest, most hectic, most frustrating, and most enjoyable of my life. We even got in a vacation to Savannah and woke up to the ocean every day. We saw lots of friends and family and just had a great time.
We went to the doctor today for their 4-month checkup, and they are doing just so, so well. My baby girls Bayla and Harper, who were born at 4 lbs, 13 oz, 16 inches and 4 lbs, 12 oz, 17 3/4 inches, are now 13 lbs, 13 oz, 23 inches and 13 lbs, 5 oz, 24 inches, respectively. They barely made the percentile chart at 2 months, and now they're comfortably in the middle. They're sleeping pretty well-- they wake up once a night, sometimes at 2:30, sometimes at 4:45 or anytime in between. Truthfully, Harper could probably sleep through the night, but I'm too chicken to try it. I would hate to wake up at 3 with Bayla and then 4:30 with Harper, so they get staggered feedings just like any other time of day. They're still sleeping in our room, but I don't know how much longer they'll be able to sleep in the Pack N Play because they're getting so big. (Shawn is ready to move them to their room-- I think he'd like his wife back. But I'm not ready for them to be down the hall yet!) They are smiling and extremely vocal, and they have terrific head and trunk control.
I am so darn proud of them and am feeling so fortunate I'm about to burst. I've said it before but I'll say it again-- these 2 girls together are easier than Brady was alone. I'm sure it won't last, so I'm enjoying it while I can. After all, these are MY girls, so we're in for some bullheaded d-r-a-m-a. (Sorry, Shawn. But this is why you love me, right? ;))
Brady started his new school today. His transitions are always harder for me than for him, but we both did pretty well today. Thankfully his girlfriend Elle is at his new school too, so they each have a familiar face for comfort. He's doing very well. He has his good days and bad days of course. He's about 80% potty trained, which is nice. He won't consistently poop in the potty, but we're working on it. This potty training is about the hardest thing I've ever had to do, INCLUDING being on hospital bed rest for 12 weeks. I'm completely serious. It's enough to drive a sane person crazy. I mean, for example, Brady had a day with no accidents of any kind-- even in a new environment -- then he thought it'd be fun to pee on the carpet right after his bath. He did it just for sh**s and giggles, I suppose, but it took a superhuman level of restraint for me not to bang my head against a wall. Can I just rub his nose in it?????
Work is busy, busy, busy, but I am enjoying having a little Becky time, and it's not the worst thing in the world to get a break from bottles and diapers every day. The hardest part is just trying to keep it all together-- the kids, the husband, the household, work-- but this is nothing new. Ask any mom of 1, 2, 5, or 10 and they'll tell you the same thing! Working outside the home, working from home, stay-at-home-- it's all a guilt- and anxiety-ridden guessing game. But then your 3-year-old tells you a story at the dinner table ("Once upon a time there was a baby. Him rode a fire truck, and an ambulance, and a dump truck. The end.") and sings "Rock-a-Bye Baby" to his crying sister while the other one brilliantly smiles at you, and all is right with the world.
More updates soon!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Trying to get in the swing of things
I've been back to work a few weeks now, and it still doesn't feel like we've gotten into the groove. We are desperate for some structure, some sense of routine, and it's just not happening. The girls spend much of their time in the bouncy seats (not that they seem to mind), but we're trying to work on expanding their horizons a bit. Some mornings are good (read: Brady gets dressed easily and doesn't fight us on every.little.thing), while others are more challenging so he doesn't get to preschool until 8:30. But everyone is fed, hugged, (mostly) clothed, and occasionally bathed (including Belle the dog), so I guess we're doing okay.
I can't begin to tell you how hard it is to juggle everything. Poor Shawn went to dinner at a dear friend's for some much deserved guy time the other night, and I had to call him home. 3:1 just doesn't work very well at bedtime, even though Brady was well behaved. There are so many balls to keep up in the air, and the most important ones are the ones in danger of falling. Let's just hope they're bouncy balls and rebound.
But there are some really funny times, as evidenced by the new photos I just put up. And again, everyone is healthy. Harper now weighs over 11 lbs, and Bayla is 10 1/2 lbs. They're rounding out and getting ridiculously adorable, and I can't believe how much they've changed. Brady continues to grow. I had him on the changing table the other day (a rarity, but it couldn't be helped), and realized just how big he is. It's hard to believe he ever fit on that thing. More hilariousness will ensue soon-- the paci fairy will be visiting Brady's room. Here's the convo when I told him about said fairy:
Me: "Brady, the paci fairy is going to come soon to get your paci. She gets pacis from all the boys and girls who are too big for them. But she leaves presents!"
Him: "The paci fairy? Will he pinch me?"
Me: "No, honey! She's a nice fairy. She brings presents."
Him: "Is he blue?"
Me: "Um, sure. She can be blue."
Him: "Is him a person?"
Me: "She's a fairy. You know, with wings?"
Him: "But a person?"
Me: "No, honey, a fairy."
Him: "Where does her live?"
Me: "In Fairyland. Maybe that's next to Dragonland."
Him: "Next to Dragonland? And her brings presents?"
Me: "Yes! Maybe a Tokyo Mater or a Mac [truck from Cars, not the computer]!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VonerCejzg4&feature=related)
Him: "I want a BIG ONE! A red one, a green one, and a blue one!"
Me: "Well, we'll see. If she brings a Mac, it'll be red, and if it's a Tokyo Mater, it'll be blue. But you know, she'll take your paci and leave you something cool."
Him: [blank stare]
So...we'll see how that goes....
We were hoping to get through the summer without illness, but Brady had a mild fever for one night. Bayla came down with some virus (probably shared by her brother) and we ended up in the ER with a 103.3 degree fever. So far, Harper hasn't come down with it. As for me, I went to the dentist for a cleaning today and discovered I have NINE...9...NINE cavities. Isn't pregnancy wonderful?
We're also getting ready for our first trip as a family of 5. We're heading to Savannah for a week. To be honest, it's scaring the crap out of me. But a week at the beach is much needed, even if it's with 3 kids. We hope to see our SAV friends and family while we're there. Then, when we get back, Brady will be starting at his new preschool. It's a lot of change at all once, and we'll probably wait for him to settle into the new school before the paci fairy makes her appearance.
So life around the Slemons house continues. It's chaos, it's messy, it's frustrating at times, but we'll take it.
More updates (and beach photos!) soon!
I can't begin to tell you how hard it is to juggle everything. Poor Shawn went to dinner at a dear friend's for some much deserved guy time the other night, and I had to call him home. 3:1 just doesn't work very well at bedtime, even though Brady was well behaved. There are so many balls to keep up in the air, and the most important ones are the ones in danger of falling. Let's just hope they're bouncy balls and rebound.
But there are some really funny times, as evidenced by the new photos I just put up. And again, everyone is healthy. Harper now weighs over 11 lbs, and Bayla is 10 1/2 lbs. They're rounding out and getting ridiculously adorable, and I can't believe how much they've changed. Brady continues to grow. I had him on the changing table the other day (a rarity, but it couldn't be helped), and realized just how big he is. It's hard to believe he ever fit on that thing. More hilariousness will ensue soon-- the paci fairy will be visiting Brady's room. Here's the convo when I told him about said fairy:
Me: "Brady, the paci fairy is going to come soon to get your paci. She gets pacis from all the boys and girls who are too big for them. But she leaves presents!"
Him: "The paci fairy? Will he pinch me?"
Me: "No, honey! She's a nice fairy. She brings presents."
Him: "Is he blue?"
Me: "Um, sure. She can be blue."
Him: "Is him a person?"
Me: "She's a fairy. You know, with wings?"
Him: "But a person?"
Me: "No, honey, a fairy."
Him: "Where does her live?"
Me: "In Fairyland. Maybe that's next to Dragonland."
Him: "Next to Dragonland? And her brings presents?"
Me: "Yes! Maybe a Tokyo Mater or a Mac [truck from Cars, not the computer]!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VonerCejzg4&feature=related)
Him: "I want a BIG ONE! A red one, a green one, and a blue one!"
Me: "Well, we'll see. If she brings a Mac, it'll be red, and if it's a Tokyo Mater, it'll be blue. But you know, she'll take your paci and leave you something cool."
Him: [blank stare]
So...we'll see how that goes....
We were hoping to get through the summer without illness, but Brady had a mild fever for one night. Bayla came down with some virus (probably shared by her brother) and we ended up in the ER with a 103.3 degree fever. So far, Harper hasn't come down with it. As for me, I went to the dentist for a cleaning today and discovered I have NINE...9...NINE cavities. Isn't pregnancy wonderful?
We're also getting ready for our first trip as a family of 5. We're heading to Savannah for a week. To be honest, it's scaring the crap out of me. But a week at the beach is much needed, even if it's with 3 kids. We hope to see our SAV friends and family while we're there. Then, when we get back, Brady will be starting at his new preschool. It's a lot of change at all once, and we'll probably wait for him to settle into the new school before the paci fairy makes her appearance.
So life around the Slemons house continues. It's chaos, it's messy, it's frustrating at times, but we'll take it.
More updates (and beach photos!) soon!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Musings on a maternity leave
Well, here we are...12 weeks in...and it's back to work (part-time, most likely temporarily), thanks to some very accommodating bosses. It's hard to believe it's been 12 weeks since Bayla and Harper came into the world. The hospital is all a blur, for which I'm grateful. Brady has adjusted, for which I'm equally grateful. The girls are both doing amazingly well-- they're our little miracles, truly. They're filling out and getting bigger, and we're waiting for their smiles. We have our screamy days and our calm days, and then we have our screamy screamy days. The bouncy chairs are our best friends, with the swings coming in a close second. We don't get to hold them enough, and we wish they'd eat more, and more quickly. We wish they'd sleep 6-7 hours and look forward to a more structured schedule. We laugh a lot, we cry sometimes, we grumble, and we trudge through our tired day, looking forward to feeling like ourselves again. But we don't complain, because we could not be more thankful for the bounty of blessings that we've gotten. Three beautiful children? A nice house? Enough money to pay the bills? Enough food to fill our tummies? What's not to love? There's a lot of love in and around us, and I am just so happy.
Here are some things I've learned the past 12 weeks:
1. I never thought I'd be content just staring at 2 babies.
2. I never thought I'd be so comfortable/happy paying for someone else to care for my kids.
3. I never thought I could go this long without having a meaningful conversation with my husband.
4. The DVR holds A LOT.
5. In a million years, I didn't think I'd be so torn about going back to work. If you knew the Becky of 5 years ago, you'd know what I mean.
6. Beans and rice makes an excellent (and fast) dinner, even 2 times a week. Frozen pasta too!
7. I complain about living all the way out in East Cobb sometimes, but we couldn't ask for more wonderful, caring, genuinely good people to live around. Our neighborhood is amazing.
8. A family of 5 produces a remarkable amount of laundry.
9. What's exhausting about twins, besides the obvious lack of continuous sleep, is that you have to make a million small decisions every moment of every day-- should I feed the one who's stirring first, or the one who usually goes first? should I change that wet diaper and risk waking her up? has she been in the bouncy seat too long? I have to be somewhere at 3, but they eat at 2-- how am I going to make that happen? is the diaper bag packed/do I need to bring x, y, or z?
10. I never thought a 3-yr-old would be harder than a preemie newborn.
11. Stretchy fabrics are highly underrated. Who needs to get into those old clothes anyway?
12. Daily hygiene is overrated.
13. Reminder: Health insurance companies love to screw you at every possible opportunity. It's like they enjoy it.
14. There's a lot of decent TV on between 8 a.m. and noon-- then it kinda sucks.
15. The most important thing: if you anticipate feedings, you save yourself a lot of grief, stress, and shrill screaming.
16. Waking a sleeping baby to eat, no matter how much of you dies inside each time you do it, is sadly necessary when you have 2 of them.
So I'm sure there's more, but it's time for another feeding, so I'm off to get the bottles ready. (see #15) More updates soon!
Here are some things I've learned the past 12 weeks:
1. I never thought I'd be content just staring at 2 babies.
2. I never thought I'd be so comfortable/happy paying for someone else to care for my kids.
3. I never thought I could go this long without having a meaningful conversation with my husband.
4. The DVR holds A LOT.
5. In a million years, I didn't think I'd be so torn about going back to work. If you knew the Becky of 5 years ago, you'd know what I mean.
6. Beans and rice makes an excellent (and fast) dinner, even 2 times a week. Frozen pasta too!
7. I complain about living all the way out in East Cobb sometimes, but we couldn't ask for more wonderful, caring, genuinely good people to live around. Our neighborhood is amazing.
8. A family of 5 produces a remarkable amount of laundry.
9. What's exhausting about twins, besides the obvious lack of continuous sleep, is that you have to make a million small decisions every moment of every day-- should I feed the one who's stirring first, or the one who usually goes first? should I change that wet diaper and risk waking her up? has she been in the bouncy seat too long? I have to be somewhere at 3, but they eat at 2-- how am I going to make that happen? is the diaper bag packed/do I need to bring x, y, or z?
10. I never thought a 3-yr-old would be harder than a preemie newborn.
11. Stretchy fabrics are highly underrated. Who needs to get into those old clothes anyway?
12. Daily hygiene is overrated.
13. Reminder: Health insurance companies love to screw you at every possible opportunity. It's like they enjoy it.
14. There's a lot of decent TV on between 8 a.m. and noon-- then it kinda sucks.
15. The most important thing: if you anticipate feedings, you save yourself a lot of grief, stress, and shrill screaming.
16. Waking a sleeping baby to eat, no matter how much of you dies inside each time you do it, is sadly necessary when you have 2 of them.
So I'm sure there's more, but it's time for another feeding, so I'm off to get the bottles ready. (see #15) More updates soon!
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