Bayla Sarah and Davida Chaya

We had a wonderful baby naming for the girls today at our temple, Kehillat Chaim. For those who don't know, Jewish baby boys get circumcised in an ancient ritual known as Brit Milah, or covenant. This covenant is with God, and the ceremony welcomes them into Judaism. Jewish baby girls have naming ceremonies to welcome them into the kehillah (community), and we were so proud to honor and celebrate them today. Jews traditionally name their children after relatives who have passed away. Bayla was my mother's Hebrew name, and Sarah was my father's mother's Hebrew name, so she is named for them. Harper's English name is after Shawn's grandfather Harvey, and her Hebrew name, Davida Chaya, is for my mother's father David. "Chaya" means life, and as the rabbi pointed out, that's extremely fitting for these girls after all that happened.

The ceremony itself was so sweet. Our rabbi wrote it, and it talks about the kind of women we hope they'll grow up to be, the kind of home we hope to have, the kind of parents we want to be, and the world we want them to grow up in. My brother was sick, but my sister-in-law Alison acted as godparent, and my father, Bonnie, Shawn's mother Gail, and Shawn's father and stepmother Ken & Carole took part in the service as well. Brady twirled around the sanctuary and didn't pay much attention-- it pretty much a window into our lives! The service spoke to our hearts, and I want to share it with you. Our Rabbi, Harvey Winokur, and Cantor, Barbara Margulis, did an amazing job:

NAMING CEREMONY


Rabbi/Cantor: “And you shall call them by their names”...a command given first to Adam and Eve. To call someone or something by name is to touch its heart, its essence. It is to speak a word which lasts a lifetime.

In the beginning, God began to create through names. When God said, “Yehi Or,” “Let there be light” -- only then did light exist. Each name allowed day and night, earth and sky, sunlight and moonlight not only to be what they ought to be, but each name also created a separation. With a name, we become ourselves and no one else.

Even God has a name. In fact, God has many names. And each of God’s names reflects something special about the Eternal. When we say “Elohaynu,” we address that God who rules; when we say “Adonai,” we address a God filled with mercy. K’shmo keyn hu...as is God’s name, so is God’s essence.

Godparents or other relatives: [Ali, Steven in absentia]

Joyfully do we present ______________ and _________________ to their parents to enter into the Covenant of Life.
______________: Blessed is the Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, by whose Mitzvot we are hallowed, who commands us to sanctify life.


Rabbi/Cantor: God and Creator, happy parents have come into Your presence to voice the longings of their hearts in prayer. Give them the wisdom to teach their children to be faithful to the heritage of the Household of Israel, that they may grow up with the knowledge that You are always near to them, guiding and sustaining them. Keep open the eyes of their spirit, that they may ever be conscious of the beauty and wonder of Your world. And let them learn to love the goodness that is in man and woman, that they may ever nourish the goodness that has been implanted within them. Though none can escape sorrow and pain, we humbly ask for them the courage to face evil, the faith to transcend it, and the strength to subdue it. Grant them health of mind and strength of body, that they may enjoy fullness of years and live to do Your will in faithfulness. Amen.

Parents: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray for the health of these children.
I pray for them to be perfect in mind and body,
To grow steadily and sturdily
In a home filled with joy at their presence,
To be nurtured into a people who greet the world
With passion, enthusiasm, dance, love , humility, and faith.

Father: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray for the health of this world.
I beg its leaders to temper their insanity with reason,
So that my children may live in a world that seeks longevity,
not annihilation.
Let the world join in the thrill of creation,
And turn its back on the lust for destruction.
Let my children never know the pain and absurdity of warfare
Let them take part in the dances of peace.

Mother: With all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might,
I pray that God watch over me and my family,
I pray for the ability to love and nurture these children,
I pray to feel God’s presence now and always.



Rabbi/Cantor: Praised are You, eternal source of light, Who makes it possible for spark to flow into spark, flame into flame, love into love, life into life.

Baruch atah Adonai, Elohaynu melech ha-olam, she-heh-che-yanu, v’kiy’yimah-nu, v’hig-giyahnu la-z’man ha-zeh.
Praised are You, O Eternal our God, Ruler of the Universe, Who has kept us alive, and sustained us, and permitted us to join together in this celebration of life.


Shawn & Becky____: Source of all life, our hearts are filled with joy for the new lives which have been entrusted to us. Not with words alone shall we voice our thanks, but with our striving to rear our children with love and understanding and tender care. “Bestow Your blessing on our child, that they may grow in strength of body, mind and spirit. May they learn to love all that is good and beautiful and true, to be a blessing to society and a joy to themselves.” Give us, O God, the wisdom, courage, and faith that we as parents shall need to raise our children to be human and humane beings, strong, happy and loving persons.

____Bruce____: We are thankful for the many joys with which our life has been blessed. Now this great goodness has come to us: a new life, new grandchildren to love, the opening of a new chapter in the chronicle of our family’s existence. O may these children grow up in health and happiness, to become a blessing to family, friends and neighbors. May their dear parents find much joy in the years that lie before them. Grant, O God, that they rear their children with wisdom and understanding, teaching them the ways of righteousness, leading them to the study of Torah and the practice of love and kindness.

_Rabbi__________: And may we, too, be granted the joy of seeing them develop all their faculties, and the gratification of seeing them fulfill the best that is in them. Then our humble prayer shall have found its answer: the days and years to come shall be for us times of peace and wondrous fulfillment. Amen.

____Bonnie______: Today, we celebrate as ____________ and __________enter into the covenant. This ritual is entered into with You, O God, to praise Your holy name. May it please You to bless this home with health, happiness and contentment. May all the members of our family be privileged to serve You in joy.

____Rabbi______: May ____________ and _____________grow in vigor of mind to become learned in Torah, true children of the Mitzvot, an intelligent, informed and loving human beings. Bless ____________ and ____________ that they may continue to find favor in the eyes of God and humankind

Rabbi/Cantor: Birth is a beginning,
And death a destination.
And life is a journey:
From childhood to maturity
And youth to age;
From innocence to awareness
And ignorance to knowing:
From foolishness to discretion
And then, perhaps, to wisdom;
From weakness to strength
Or strength to weakness--
And often, back again;
From health to sickness
And back, we pray, to health again;
From offense to forgiveness,
From loneliness to love,
From joy to gratitude,
From pain to compassion,
And grief to understanding--
From fear to faith;
From defeat to defeat to defeat--
Until, looking backward or ahead,
We see that victory lies
Not as some high place along the way,
But in having made the journey, stage by stage,
A sacred pilgrimage.
Birth is a beginning




___Rabbi___: May you raise your daughters to bring honor to the names of our Matriarchs. Bestow upon them the qualities of nobility and strength. Instill in them the love of learning; grant them the joy of marriage; teach them to have compassion upon all life that they be blessed with the three-fold blessing of Torah, Chupah and Maasim tovim.

___Gail____: May you raise up these children O Lord, to be strong enough to know when they are weak and brave enough to face themselves when they are afraid; ones who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, but humble and gentle in victory. Send them we pray, not only in the path of ease and comfort but also in the spur of difficulty and challenge. Here let them learn to stand up in the storm; here let them learn compassion for those who fall. Grant them the insight to know themselves and the wisdom to know You.

_______Ken & Carole_____: May you raise these children whose hearts will be clear, whose goals will be high; children who will master themselves before they seek to master others; ones who will learn to laugh, yet never forget how to weep; ones who will reach into the future, yet never forget the past. After all these things are theirs, this we pray, enough sense of humor that they may always be serious but never take themselves too seriously. Give them humility so that they may always remember the simplicity of true greatness, the open mind of true wisdom, the meekness of true strength.

Parents: O God, for the gift of these children we give thanks, praying that we will be worthy of the blessing and responsibility of parenthood.

Rabbi/Cantor
Hebrew is inserted-

Blessed is the Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine.


Rabbi/Cantor: May the One who blessed our patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and our matriarchs, Sarah, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel bless these children with life and health. May they be a joy to their parents. May they live to bring honor to the House of Israel, blessing to humanity, and glory to the name of God.

Now, in the presence of loved ones, we give to these children the names ____________ (Hebrew Names). Let them become names honored and respected for wisdom and good deeds. May God’s blessing rest upon these children now and always.

We pray that these children will grow in heart and mind. May the story of our people inspire them. May the truths of Torah guide them. And may the grandeur of the prophetic word of truth and righteousness enter their spirit and be for them a lasting benediction. Amen.



Parents: O God, we give thanks to You for the gift of our children, who have entered into the covenant of life. Keep them from all harm, and grant that they may be a source of joy to us and all their dear ones. Be with us, and give us health and length of days. Teach us to rear our children with care and affection, with wisdom and understanding that they may be a faithful children of our people, and a blessing to the world. We give thanks to You, O Lord, the Source of life.

Rabbi/Cantor:

The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord look kindly upon you and be gracious unto you;
The Lord bestow favor upon you and give you peace. Amen.

Whew! 4 months already??

Time is absolutely flying. Bayla and Harper celebrated their 4-month birthday yesterday with about 28 oz. of formula each, Brady got some Dora popsicles, and Shawn and I toasted with lots of caffeine. :)

These four months have been some of the happiest, most hectic, most frustrating, and most enjoyable of my life. We even got in a vacation to Savannah and woke up to the ocean every day. We saw lots of friends and family and just had a great time.

We went to the doctor today for their 4-month checkup, and they are doing just so, so well. My baby girls Bayla and Harper, who were born at 4 lbs, 13 oz, 16 inches and 4 lbs, 12 oz, 17 3/4 inches, are now 13 lbs, 13 oz, 23 inches and 13 lbs, 5 oz, 24 inches, respectively. They barely made the percentile chart at 2 months, and now they're comfortably in the middle. They're sleeping pretty well-- they wake up once a night, sometimes at 2:30, sometimes at 4:45 or anytime in between. Truthfully, Harper could probably sleep through the night, but I'm too chicken to try it. I would hate to wake up at 3 with Bayla and then 4:30 with Harper, so they get staggered feedings just like any other time of day. They're still sleeping in our room, but I don't know how much longer they'll be able to sleep in the Pack N Play because they're getting so big. (Shawn is ready to move them to their room-- I think he'd like his wife back. But I'm not ready for them to be down the hall yet!) They are smiling and extremely vocal, and they have terrific head and trunk control.

I am so darn proud of them and am feeling so fortunate I'm about to burst. I've said it before but I'll say it again-- these 2 girls together are easier than Brady was alone. I'm sure it won't last, so I'm enjoying it while I can. After all, these are MY girls, so we're in for some bullheaded d-r-a-m-a. (Sorry, Shawn. But this is why you love me, right? ;))

Brady started his new school today. His transitions are always harder for me than for him, but we both did pretty well today. Thankfully his girlfriend Elle is at his new school too, so they each have a familiar face for comfort. He's doing very well. He has his good days and bad days of course. He's about 80% potty trained, which is nice. He won't consistently poop in the potty, but we're working on it. This potty training is about the hardest thing I've ever had to do, INCLUDING being on hospital bed rest for 12 weeks. I'm completely serious. It's enough to drive a sane person crazy. I mean, for example, Brady had a day with no accidents of any kind-- even in a new environment -- then he thought it'd be fun to pee on the carpet right after his bath. He did it just for sh**s and giggles, I suppose, but it took a superhuman level of restraint for me not to bang my head against a wall. Can I just rub his nose in it?????

Work is busy, busy, busy, but I am enjoying having a little Becky time, and it's not the worst thing in the world to get a break from bottles and diapers every day. The hardest part is just trying to keep it all together-- the kids, the husband, the household, work-- but this is nothing new. Ask any mom of 1, 2, 5, or 10 and they'll tell you the same thing! Working outside the home, working from home, stay-at-home-- it's all a guilt- and anxiety-ridden guessing game. But then your 3-year-old tells you a story at the dinner table ("Once upon a time there was a baby. Him rode a fire truck, and an ambulance, and a dump truck. The end.") and sings "Rock-a-Bye Baby" to his crying sister while the other one brilliantly smiles at you, and all is right with the world.

More updates soon!

Trying to get in the swing of things

I've been back to work a few weeks now, and it still doesn't feel like we've gotten into the groove. We are desperate for some structure, some sense of routine, and it's just not happening. The girls spend much of their time in the bouncy seats (not that they seem to mind), but we're trying to work on expanding their horizons a bit. Some mornings are good (read: Brady gets dressed easily and doesn't fight us on every.little.thing), while others are more challenging so he doesn't get to preschool until 8:30. But everyone is fed, hugged, (mostly) clothed, and occasionally bathed (including Belle the dog), so I guess we're doing okay.

I can't begin to tell you how hard it is to juggle everything. Poor Shawn went to dinner at a dear friend's for some much deserved guy time the other night, and I had to call him home. 3:1 just doesn't work very well at bedtime, even though Brady was well behaved. There are so many balls to keep up in the air, and the most important ones are the ones in danger of falling. Let's just hope they're bouncy balls and rebound.

But there are some really funny times, as evidenced by the new photos I just put up. And again, everyone is healthy. Harper now weighs over 11 lbs, and Bayla is 10 1/2 lbs. They're rounding out and getting ridiculously adorable, and I can't believe how much they've changed. Brady continues to grow. I had him on the changing table the other day (a rarity, but it couldn't be helped), and realized just how big he is. It's hard to believe he ever fit on that thing. More hilariousness will ensue soon-- the paci fairy will be visiting Brady's room. Here's the convo when I told him about said fairy:
Me: "Brady, the paci fairy is going to come soon to get your paci. She gets pacis from all the boys and girls who are too big for them. But she leaves presents!"
Him: "The paci fairy? Will he pinch me?"
Me: "No, honey! She's a nice fairy. She brings presents."
Him: "Is he blue?"
Me: "Um, sure. She can be blue."
Him: "Is him a person?"
Me: "She's a fairy. You know, with wings?"
Him: "But a person?"
Me: "No, honey, a fairy."
Him: "Where does her live?"
Me: "In Fairyland. Maybe that's next to Dragonland."
Him: "Next to Dragonland? And her brings presents?"
Me: "Yes! Maybe a Tokyo Mater or a Mac [truck from Cars, not the computer]!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VonerCejzg4&feature=related)
Him: "I want a BIG ONE! A red one, a green one, and a blue one!"
Me: "Well, we'll see. If she brings a Mac, it'll be red, and if it's a Tokyo Mater, it'll be blue. But you know, she'll take your paci and leave you something cool."
Him: [blank stare]

So...we'll see how that goes....

We were hoping to get through the summer without illness, but Brady had a mild fever for one night. Bayla came down with some virus (probably shared by her brother) and we ended up in the ER with a 103.3 degree fever. So far, Harper hasn't come down with it. As for me, I went to the dentist for a cleaning today and discovered I have NINE...9...NINE cavities. Isn't pregnancy wonderful?

We're also getting ready for our first trip as a family of 5. We're heading to Savannah for a week. To be honest, it's scaring the crap out of me. But a week at the beach is much needed, even if it's with 3 kids. We hope to see our SAV friends and family while we're there. Then, when we get back, Brady will be starting at his new preschool. It's a lot of change at all once, and we'll probably wait for him to settle into the new school before the paci fairy makes her appearance.

So life around the Slemons house continues. It's chaos, it's messy, it's frustrating at times, but we'll take it.

More updates (and beach photos!) soon!

Musings on a maternity leave

Well, here we are...12 weeks in...and it's back to work (part-time, most likely temporarily), thanks to some very accommodating bosses. It's hard to believe it's been 12 weeks since Bayla and Harper came into the world. The hospital is all a blur, for which I'm grateful. Brady has adjusted, for which I'm equally grateful. The girls are both doing amazingly well-- they're our little miracles, truly. They're filling out and getting bigger, and we're waiting for their smiles. We have our screamy days and our calm days, and then we have our screamy screamy days. The bouncy chairs are our best friends, with the swings coming in a close second. We don't get to hold them enough, and we wish they'd eat more, and more quickly. We wish they'd sleep 6-7 hours and look forward to a more structured schedule. We laugh a lot, we cry sometimes, we grumble, and we trudge through our tired day, looking forward to feeling like ourselves again. But we don't complain, because we could not be more thankful for the bounty of blessings that we've gotten. Three beautiful children? A nice house? Enough money to pay the bills? Enough food to fill our tummies? What's not to love? There's a lot of love in and around us, and I am just so happy.

Here are some things I've learned the past 12 weeks:
1. I never thought I'd be content just staring at 2 babies.
2. I never thought I'd be so comfortable/happy paying for someone else to care for my kids.
3. I never thought I could go this long without having a meaningful conversation with my husband.
4. The DVR holds A LOT.
5. In a million years, I didn't think I'd be so torn about going back to work. If you knew the Becky of 5 years ago, you'd know what I mean.
6. Beans and rice makes an excellent (and fast) dinner, even 2 times a week. Frozen pasta too!
7. I complain about living all the way out in East Cobb sometimes, but we couldn't ask for more wonderful, caring, genuinely good people to live around. Our neighborhood is amazing.
8. A family of 5 produces a remarkable amount of laundry.
9. What's exhausting about twins, besides the obvious lack of continuous sleep, is that you have to make a million small decisions every moment of every day-- should I feed the one who's stirring first, or the one who usually goes first? should I change that wet diaper and risk waking her up? has she been in the bouncy seat too long? I have to be somewhere at 3, but they eat at 2-- how am I going to make that happen? is the diaper bag packed/do I need to bring x, y, or z?
10. I never thought a 3-yr-old would be harder than a preemie newborn.
11. Stretchy fabrics are highly underrated. Who needs to get into those old clothes anyway?
12. Daily hygiene is overrated.
13. Reminder: Health insurance companies love to screw you at every possible opportunity. It's like they enjoy it.
14. There's a lot of decent TV on between 8 a.m. and noon-- then it kinda sucks.
15. The most important thing: if you anticipate feedings, you save yourself a lot of grief, stress, and shrill screaming.
16. Waking a sleeping baby to eat, no matter how much of you dies inside each time you do it, is sadly necessary when you have 2 of them.

So I'm sure there's more, but it's time for another feeding, so I'm off to get the bottles ready. (see #15) More updates soon!

Two months old!

Bayla and Harper are 2 months old! We had our checkup this morning (complete with 6 vaccinations), and everything looks great with them. Bayla weighs 8 lbs, 6 oz. and is 20 in. long, and Harper weighs 9 lbs even and is 20 3/4 in. long. We've gotten the okay to let them sleep at night as long as they want-- we don't have to wake them to eat any longer. Hallelujah!! I imagine they'll still wake btwn 4 and 5 hours, but I'll take it. This is great for us because we can now start getting into a routine. Should be interesting to see if Brady wakes up from their cries at night. Because let me tell you, these formerly placid girls are LOUD. Harper's cries are piercing, and Bayla's are just heartbreaking. Because they're twins, they both cry a little more than a single baby just because I can't get to them both immediately. As I've said before, thank God these are my second and third babies because I now understand that a little crying won't kill them.
Bayla's head is rounding out nicely, and her neck is much more flexible since we've continued PT and stretches. Both girls are VERY strong. Bayla is the stronger one, which is just crazy to me. Bayla also needs to be held more, but we're working it out.
For Brady's part, his 3-yr-old hijinks have led to power matches, time outs, truck-take-aways, and more. We're looking forward to 4 years old. If he makes it. If we make it. Still, when he's sweet, he's the sweetest, and when he's funny, he's the funniest. We try to remember those times to avoid his serious injury. If you've ever had a 3-yr-old, I'm sure you can relate.
Shawn and I had our first date since January on Monday. We saw Conan O'Brien at the Fox. It was a great time, and it was wonderful to be Shawn & Becky and not just Daddy & Mommy for a while. We got to eat in peace! It was fantastic.
We're exhausted, tired of power struggles with Brady, and achy from holding 2 babies, but for the most part, everything's going well. It's funny-- sometimes I'll just be sitting here and realize we have twin girls, and 3 kids. As used to the concept as I am, I don't think I'll ever stop being amazed and surprised by it. It's a lot to take in! It's constant juggling and lots of work, and sometimes we're so worn out we can barely handle it. But I'm grateful to my friends who are moms and dads of twins for their perspectives and support-- they survived, and so will we! And we're also grateful to the continuing support of our neighbors, family, and friends, who have provided so much help as we figure out what being a family of 5 (plus dog) is like. The bumpy road that is our life will smooth out eventually, right?
So I know I promised some cute photos, but I have to find the cord that connects the camera to the computer. As soon as I do (you should see this house right now-- it might be a while), I'll stick 'em up here. More updates soon!

Whew!

Whew! It's been quite a few weeks. The girls are now 8 weeks old and have been home nearly 5 weeks. Brady has adjusted to being a big brother-- now his tantrums are related to being 3, rather than to all the huge changes in his life. Potty training is coming along. We're down to 2 diapers a day for him, which does nothing to offset the 20+ diapers a day for the girls. Bayla's diaper rash, which began in the NICU, is continuing to stump us. We've been to the dermatologist and are trying several medications and treatments to finally do away with it. It's awful, just awful. I've been hopping around from doctor's appt to doctor's appt trying to keep these girls checked out and healthy, Shawn's been working and helping hold down the fort, Brady's been in camp, the girls have been maturing, all we're an all-around chaotic family!
Brady is almost always very sweet with his sisters, bringing them pacis when they cry (often with dirty hands, oh well), helping me diaper or feed them, and giving hugs and kisses. He also is testing his limits by poking his sisters or touching their faces, which he isn't allowed to do. At least he's not hurting them!
There's just always something to do! One of the 3 kids (or all 3 at the same time!) is always in need of something, there's bottles to clean and prepare, breast milk to pump, incessant laundry to do, a household to keep relatively clean and orderly, and a life to keep up. We're exhausted!
Overall we've been enjoying the girls a heck of a lot. Except when one or the other of them won't go back to sleep after their middle of the night feed. We have gone to feeding them every 4 hrs (instead of 3) at night, and that helps with sleep a bit.
On a happy note, June 12 is our 5th anniversary. If you'd have told us 5 years ago that we'd have 3 kids by now, you would have gotten a huge laugh. Funny how life works out. I wouldn't change it for the world. I would consider swapping something for a full night's sleep though. :)
Speaking of.... time to pump, then give a "top-off" feed to the girls, then I'll have a couple hours to rest before it's time to feed again. Then it's Shawn's shift. :)
More updates and photos soon! (teasers: Superman Brady using the potty, Bayla blissful in the swing)

OH.MY.GOODNESS.

Tonight was the first night we truly felt like the parents of 3 kids. Brady had a complete and total meltdown, and the girls were both hungry and screaming. I'm writing this post in the hopes that someone will have pity on me and bring over several pitchers of margaritas. Any tequila will be fine- I'm not picky. ;)

But seriously... the next few years are going to be something. I can't imagine how the teenage years are going to look and feel.