Monday, Feb,. 22

Happy Monday! I've now been in the hospital for 4 weeks. Gheesh.

It was a pretty uneventful weekend, except I had to start on insulin shots. My blood sugar is just a little high in the morning and after dinner (although not all the the time), and they've found that tight control over blood sugar levels leads to fewer problems with the babies. I'm on board for fewer problems. There is an oral medication that would have avoided the insulin, but I have a drug allergy that prevented me from taking it. SO-- straight to the insulin. Once the doctor told me I'd have to go on the insulin, I had my first big breakdown since we were told I'd have to go on bed rest.

It's not that I have to go on insulin-- again, on board with controlling my blood sugar -- it's the fact that I am SO TIRED of being poked and prodded, monitored and evaluated. I should install a freaking revolving door to make it easier for everyone who has to come in and out of my room 1,000 times a day. I miss my husband and son, I miss my life, I miss walking around, and I miss having any control over what's going on with me (including managing what I eat-- it's hard to keep your blood sugar down when the dietitian-approved snacks include white bagels). It's very frustrating, and it's very difficult. The first few weeks I was here, there was so much anxiety about whether or not the babies would be born, but it's dragging on and on, and my personality patterns are coming back. (This is disappointing mainly for my husband, who most certainly enjoyed a more laid-back Becky.)

When you're pregnant, your body is leased out for about 10 months, and this is just kind of making it all tougher. When people say to me that they'd like to have twins, I'm going to show them the hospital bills and this blog. Don't mistake any of this venting and think that I'm not grateful the girls are still cooking, but this is an incredibly difficult experience and a lot to ask of anyone.

On a happier note, Bonnie came up this weekend to help, and Shawn and I got to have a date night here in my hospital room while she watched Brady. Not the most romantic locale, but at least we got to enjoy a yummy dinner and a movie together. We are so thankful for Bonnie and everything she's done to help us out.

We are also continually grateful for our neighbors, who are providing meals for Shawn and Brady a few times a week. It really helps them out, and it truly gives me peace of mind to know that things are a little easier for them. If you'd like to provide a meal for them, visit carecalendar.org (id 32090; sec code 3540). Our immediate neighbor Stephanie Runge is coordinating everything, and we can't thank her enough.

So that's all the news. We have another ultrasound tomorrow, and I'll report back with the results. More updates soon!